How To Legally Violate Cape Vincent's New Zoning! - Just Get a "Not Litereal" Permit!

What you do is get some zoning insurance... Let me explain.

There are two important warnings in this process.

1. Don't do this unless it is an election year in CV.

2. Make SURE when you apply for the CV building permit that you specify you want the NON LITERAL permit...not the LITERAL permit...that is critical!  They usually grant them more freely in an election year.

 Maybe you have a piece of Cape Vincent  property not big enough to build the dream house you really want.  But maybe the CV zoning would allow you to build a smaller house on that property.  Don't fret...That's OK, just get a permit for the smaller house, and here is how to make it all work out to "legally"  get the bigger house you want.


1. Hire an expensive contractor, and order and have delivered all the material for the entire job.  Bought and paid for on site and highly visible.

2. Only THEN submit the plans for a permit for the smaller house.

3.  Sit on the permit for a few months and don't do any construction. Let things cool down and no one will notice.

4. Then go like hell to build the BIGGER dream house.

5.  If no one complains you are home free.

6. Now if you do get a complaint, don't panic!

7.  When the zoning enforcement officer comes to check you out, here is what you do...

a.  Tell him you are really sorry, but you lost the plans and got really confused and built the bigger  house by mistake. He will be sympathetic to that!

b. If the house is not finished immediately show him all the material, fixtures etc you have paid for sitting in a big pile.  But don't show any receipt...say you lost them!  Just tell him you have about $500,000 invested and a lot of the building is completed.

c. Threaten to sue if he gives you any grief.  Have your lawyer on your cell on speed dial.

d.  NOW HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART...YOUR ACE IN THE HOLE!

Tell him you talked to the CV planning board and the chairman and that you were informed by them  that in Cape Vincent the zoning law was not written  to be taken literally.  It is only sort of an intent type of thing, especially if is an election year!  Hand him the zoning law and show him the clearly defined easy to read table that has the setbacks in it for your zoning district and tell him you didn't build your house to those setbacks because they are not really literal setbacks according to CV zoning professionals.  Say you saw it on video too.

Tell them that because of the geography at your site and the trees etc. that nobody can really see that your house is too big for the small lot anyhow, and since the law is not literal you decided it would be OK to build the bigger house and you have made a HUGE investment!  Tell him that this is a precedent set by other CV zoning decisions and it would be unfair and arbitrary and capricious to single you out now!!!

e.  If your house is not finished continue to build like hell on it no matter what!

f. If it is finished, just sit back and chill...not much is likely to happen.  But have your lawyer on speed dial just in case!!!!

Maybe BP could do the same thing with their 500 ft. wind turbines.  Those wind turbine setbacks aren't really literal.  Of course if they do this they might want to hedge their bet and take a few NYPSC regulators on an all paid golf junket first like National Grid does!!!!